Some actual words spoken this morning...
Me: "please stop biting the table, we talked about this yesterday"
Zach: making fart noises
Me: "do not make fart noises at me please"
...I guess dinosaur roars are better than fart noises.
Zach with dirty hands: "my hands are dirty, mommy lick it"
Me: "no, I'm not licking your hands clean"
Me: "I'm sorry Ollie I can feed you any faster"
....this one is going to eat us out of house and home.
Zach about 2,000 times since going to the local fair on Wednesday: "I want a cow mommy....we're going to get a cow, a dairy cow, I need a cow..."
It's only 8am. Someone send a cow and a bloody Mary stat.