Saturday, March 30, 2013

Remember that one time Zach almost broke my nose...

Remember that one time Zach almost broke my nose then almost knocked his own teeth out...that was a good day.

Zach has been into opening & closing everything, but especially closing. I was getting milk out of the fridge when I heard him running up behind the door. Naturally I turned my head towards the noise just as he was slamming the door. It smashed my nose & brought tears to my eyes, Zach thought it was hilarious. Fortunately nothing was hurt except my pride.

Later that day we went to visit nana. He was in the toy room, looking out the window, & jumping up & down. Apparently his little arms didn't keeps his face far enough away and he caught his teeth on the window sill. There was blood & I freaked out. His lip was a little swollen but no damage, besides Zach's pride & my confidence as a mother.

He such a rough & tumble boy I know more bruises are in our future & I'm trying not to freak out. I don't know how my parents don't have an ulcer from the 57 face stitches I received over my childhood & I guess I know where Zach gets his amazing poise, balance & grace...he get it from his mama.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Finish the sentence


Today I'm going to come out of the closet and admit I like writing this little blog.  The only thing I like more than writing this is reading others.  It's time to embrace my inner blogger, much like the inner diva with less swearing, and figure out what in the hell I'm doing.  Step 1. participate in a link up with one of my favorite blogs The Stanfield Clan because it feels like I'm brushing elbows with a celebrity.  Step 2-2,000 get hip with this whole technology thing.

Chances are I'll screw this up and link to nothing, but here is Finish the Sentence...

1. If calories didn't count I would all day everyday.  I would follow that up with a peanut butter sundae and then peanut butter brownies.  Anything with cheese or peanut butter is a winner in my book.

2. On my prom night...My date stood on a stool for pictures, I wore a borrowed dress and went with a friend...clearly I was really popular and already cheap.  The friend I went with just broke up with his girlfriend and I had just broken up with my boyfriend so we technically went together, but got there and proceeded to spend the night dancing with our exes.  He had to stand on a stool cause he was a shorty and I'm fairly tall for a lady and we thought we were being hilarious....such pranksters...others kids got hammered, we brought a stool for pictures.

3. When I go to the store I always buy...applesauce pouches.  I have a toddler and whoever had the idea to put applesauce in a container worth 4x the fruit was genius....and I had to look up how to spell genius, fail.

4.  Family functions typically....involve uncontrollable laughter, (probably fueled by the) alcohol and compusults....compusult; the combination of a compliment and insult.  An example that actually happened; relative "you have really gotten pretty with age"....hmmm thank you for calling me pretty, but was I super ugly growing up?  I mean I did have a long awkward patch.
Clearly I'm not awkward....neither is Matt...who is smart enough to never compusult me

5. I think my blog readers...are the bees knees and all related to me.  It has pretty much been a blog with baby updates, but I'm slowly adding other stuff about me & the shenanigans down on the farm.

6. I'd much rather be...sleeping.  Teething toddler is the worst.  He is napping but can sense when I relax and immediately wakes up so up reading my favorite blogs & trying to remind myself I'll miss this phase.

7. I have an obsession with...yellow paint.  We are building a house and have to tell them paint colors by tomorrow....that is a lot of pressure.  There is yellow yellow, green yellow, blue yellow....stop obsession and just pick a damn yellow.

8. My work friends....are currently farmers or babies.

9. When I created my facebook was still only for college kids and my mom couldn't check my news feed.

10. My least favorite word is...moist, panties, penetrate

11. I really don't remember...a solid 6-10 months of my junior year of high school.  I got kicked in the head during a soccer game and had a concussion.  I didn't go to school for weeks and often thought I was having conversations with dead presidents and the Easter Bunny.  My memory is still terrible and I lost some memories from before that time....and now we all know what is wrong with me now, I do indeed have a screw or 2 loose.

12. Justin not a rapper, pull up your pants, take off your chains, and wear a normal hat please.  

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Going to the big D....Daycare

Going to the big d & don't mean Dallas. Daycare started this week. We decided to take Zach to daycare 3 days a week while I work at the greenhouse. We figured he would benefit from the socialization & the padded toddler proof rooms since he often acts like we give him red bull for breakfast.

Little guy has been handling it ok. The first day I dropped him off he just took off & started playing with cars.....I of course cried all the way home. The next time he cried and clung to my leg. Nothing breaks your heart like walking out the door to the sound of your child crying & yelling mama...I definitely had some second thoughts about daycare that morning & had to call Matt to talk me down....and cried all the way home.

In my mind I know he'll benefit from a few days a week with other kids & an entire day of activities based around him, but man it was harder than I thought it would be. Some of the crazy concerns I had during the first day- what if he cries all day (he didn't cry that day when I dropped him off), what if he poops (they are a daycare & well equipped to handle diapers), what if they forget to give him Ba, food, water, you name it (apparently I was worried that Zach is invisible).

I don't regret taking him. As much as he needs to adjust I need to as well. I must admit I think I really like working part time. It's the best of both worlds. I realized how much I missed working and I'm not as hard on myself at home. The goal for next week is to stop crying on the way home.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Fine motor skills

Pinterest has a plethora of activities for toddlers to improve their fine motor skills. All these activities are super cute and include some sort of pipe cleaner, Pom Pom or other colorful crafting supplies. We do things a little differently here. Same concept, but this method was discovered while I was in the shower. We don't need no stinkin craft supplies....

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

So What Wednesday

So I'm attempting to link to another blog that I read all the time for a weekly link's almost like this is a real blog.

This week I'm saying so what if....

- I had to google how to do a link up

- I've been reading Life After I Dew forever and every week think about linking up, but never took the time to figure out how in the heck to do that I know how easy it is I'm slightly embarrassed

- Zach had his first day ever at daycare today at 18 months old and only 1 of us cried and it was me

- I could eat peanut butter cheerios for every meal

- The more we talk about trying for baby #2 the more I drink....I know it will be a long, dry 9 months so I might as well live it up now

- I forgot Easter was next weekend since we're ridiculous and have had all the basket stuff for weeks

- I let my kid look at tractor pictures on my phone to calm him down

- I listen to Jimmy Buffett and pretend all the snow is white sand....I hate hate I mean not enough to ever move away, just enough to complain about it always

- This is a lame so what post, but I'm nervous to be doing a real blog activity

If this actually links up to Life After I Dew I may actually try to navigate the waters or real blog activities again next week.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Puppy update

We have decided we like our method of adopting older, already house trained dogs. We do love Puppy Maggie but house training is not my favorite thing. I have enough gross liquids to deal with until Zach decides to house train.

With that being said, it is going way better than I thought it would. I think she finally gets the whole you need to pee outside even if it's cold thing. Little lady does not like the cold or wet, well guess what dog, tough....I don't like standing out there in the cold and wet watching you do your business like a creeper. Sometimes we have to do things we don't like.

She is a snuggly little thing and is doing well with sit & come. Zach sometimes likes to play with play with her I mean throw her toys at her. She takes his antics in stride & I have even spotted them cuddling up together on the chair to watch Thomas the Train. Big, old JJ has been way more active so overall it's a win win.

I have said out loud on a few occasions 'we should have just gotten a cat' but overall it's going well & we love that little pain in the butt.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Steps for a successful play date

Step 1. Forget where you're going and have to call for directions.

Step 2. Have Zach try to pull his friend out of her pink kids chair so he can sit on it.

Step 3. Have a monster poop incident (toddler not adult) & not have an extra diaper with you.

Step 4. Plug up toilet with said monster poop and have to ask for a plunger.

Oh, you mean play dates aren't supposed to go like this? I wonder why I don't have many mom friends & no one wants to have play I know....word must have gotten out that Zach is a wild man & will clog your toilet.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013


Before we had Zach we knew we were going to screw him up in some way. We are good parents, but we knew, try as we may to avoid it, some of our weirdness would rub off in him. I choose to believe its not out weirdness that is rubbing off on Zach, but our awesomeness. Such as...

Zach knows his animal sounds & knows that a cat hisses, not meows...awesome

We listen to a very eclectic mix of music, which Zach largely ignores...unless Led Zepplin comes on....then he stops what ever he is doing to dance....awesome

When he gets over excited he stands in one spot and spins in circles...awesome

He still tries to use his potty as a cup...weird

If you ever spot him doing something bizarre & see me & Matt laughing our butts off in the background rest assured we taught him everything he knows.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Still got it

People who say once you have a baby you lose some of 'it' are crazy. On the other hand I'm not sure if 'it' is your sass, sex appeal, or abilities to hold your liquor. To prove I've still got it let me share the glowing praise my husband shed onto me & all mothers....

"I really like that commercial. You could tell she was a real mom because she had bags under her eyes and just looked at that kid like get out of the car, I want to go home & have coffee & nap".

Me trying on skinny jeans for Matt:"Does it look proportional? I feel like these make me look funny, like giant thighs & tiny calves."
Matt, poor sweet lovely Matt: No hun they look good (should have stopped talking here)....the only part that sticks out is here (my hips) but thats because they're made for making babies.

To be fair he always tells me how great I look even when I don't. These were just hilarious & brutally honest. I believe after telling me my hips stuck out he said out loud he wasn't doing himself any favors...I agree sir, I agree.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

John Deere green

It is well known that Zach's soul mate is his stuffed bunny Ba, but I don't think I can put into words his love/weird obsession with tractors. He goes nuts for tractors, especially green & yellow John Deere tractors. If he is melting down in public, just google images of tractors and he is happy. He made it through his cousins school play by spending a solid 40 minutes looking at pictures of tractors I have on my phone. And yes I do take random pictures of tractors to have ready at a moments notice. He has tractor books & recently a new toy tractor he lost his mind over. One of his first longer words was tractor.

It is a little ironic Zach loves everything I was sure I hated growing in the small town I grew up in close to my parents and a bunch of family, tractors, living on the farm....I was getting out of here fast. I was sure you wouldn't be able to pay me to stay and it turns out we paid lots of money to build a house here in the country. It's funny how life changes & how much better this life is than any other I could have imagined. It wouldn't matter if I wanted to move away now, I'd be out voted by my city boy turned country husband & tractor obsessed kid.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Road Trip

Last weekend we took a mini family road trip to Cleveland.  We are season ticket holders for the Browns so we head to the factory of sadness quite a bit during the fall, but haven't done much besides sporting events there since we lived over there......I guess when we lived over there we really only did sporting events and getting drunk downtown like any good living in sin couple with 2 incomes and no kids would do. forward 5 years and we have a toddler so drinking our way around the city was out.  We ended up eating in little Italy, going to the Children's Museum, and the West Side Market.  It was not at all what we anticipated besides going to the market.  We got lost and Zach started to wake up and scream so little Italy it was.  I'm so glad we got lost there, it was fabulous.  It's a good thing I didn't know it existed prior to this trip or else I would have weighed 300 pounds.  I love me some carbs and good red sauce.  We googled what to do in Cleveland with kids while at the restaurant since the market was packed, like can't find parking anywhere, almost hit a pedestrian packed.  We figured we would kill time and try again later in the day, so we ended up at the Children's Museum.  I'm not sure what you have to do to classify yourself as a "museum" but the standards must be lax.  Don't get me wrong, it was awesome for Zach since it was basically a giant play zone, but I don't see much learning or science happening there.  It is a little run down, but for only $7 per person and the fact that Zach would have been happy playing there all day long it was a win.  They have a giant room filled with sand....yes an indoor sandbox complete with toys and a tent.  Kids were delighted, parents were like crap the mini van is going to be full of sand but it's worth it if it tires the kids out.  It had water tables and a bunch or fake cars and playhouses and what not.  If we lived closer we would buy a yearly pass.

When we couldn't handle the millions of families that had the same idea in a tiny "museum" we moved on to the market.  If you live in northern Ohio or are visiting make your way to the West Side Market.  They have everything.  I almost ran into a pig....not live and ready to be roasted I'm was an unwelcome surprise.  Their food and space is amazing.  It was still jam packed, but we picked up a lot of produce and meat.  I'm glad Zach had his first visit, even though he was overwhelmed and refused to let me put him down....boy is getting heavy.

This kind of spontaneous trip is big for us.  We're more of 'this is going to be a pain with a toddler lets stay home' people....Matt more than me.  We found Zach's at a good age for this and it is good for us to do some of the things we did before having kids with our's still fun, just in a different way.

Like the awesome parents we are we did not take a single picture.  Instead, feel free to enjoy this tailgating picture from over a year ago....Go Browns and I miss my short hair and we have way too much Carhartt gear....hillbilly problems

Friday, March 1, 2013

Hulk Smash

I'm a pretty mild mannered person.  It generally take a lot to get me riled up, but when I get mad I get super mad.  I'm pretty much the hulk, you wouldn't like me angry.  There are however a few things that immediately bring out the hulk;

1. Bad drivers....I have road rage and need a 12 step program.  This includes the people that circle for a close parking spot like vultures, which especially pisses me off at the gym.  Really, you need to get a close parking spot to go in and work out?!

2. Anyone who asks me (or any other stay at home mom), "What do you do all day?"  Please let it be known that if you ask me this I want to slap you.  I am not an idiot and can also tell when you're being passive aggressive about it and say things like, "oh you should have plenty of time to do that since you're home" or "it's so much easier since you're home, you wouldn't understand".  There are pros and cons to staying home just like there are to working, but each one is tough.  I'll do a post on a typical day here so you can glimpse at the madness.

3. Comparing having a puppy/any other pet to having a baby/child.  I reserved my right to judge until we actually got a puppy.  Now that we have a puppy this one makes it on the list.  I can promise you a kid is 1,000,000,000 times harder than a puppy or any other animal.  I also promise you that if you make this comment to anyone with children, especially newborns, they also want to slap you.  "Oh I totally understand what getting up every 2 hours and breastfeeding is like, my puppy got up once each night and I had to let him outside" see how ridiculous you sound?

4. Eating with your mouth open or loudly.  I think there is a technical name for this, but it drives me bonkers and I'm silently going insane if someone is doing this near me.  You want to torture me, put me at a table with loud eaters.  

Last, but certainly not least...

5. Being mean to my family.  Oh mama bear does not like anyone being mean to her little guy, husband, dogs (yes they are still family, just way easier and rated under human children), or extended family.  This is most likely to bring out the hulk in public.

There is no point to this list of pet peeves, but the public should be warned on what sets me off....that and in the last week I think I experienced all of these and was just really annoyed.  I feel better, and now you (all 3 of my readers, hi mom!) think I'm crazy.