Thursday, January 31, 2013

Cry baby

In an attempt to divert Zach's attention from the movie Cars, and save my sanity, I put The Lion King on to see if Zach would have any interest or if he would just keep repeating his favorite phrase....'Cars mama'. At first Zach ignored the movie, which is better than crying for Cars. Then Zach would look up at the movie & roar. I, on the other hand, forgot how sad the beginning is and was crying. To make things worse, Zach decided he wanted to snuggle and watch the movie at this point and during the heart wrenching stampede just kept going 'uh oh mama'. Just tear my heart out & put it on a platter. I miss my pre baby heart of stone that never cried. Having a baby has made me a softie and I don't think I like it. Mission get Zach to want something besides Cars= mild success. Mission feel like a fool for crying at a Disney movie at almost 30 years old= success.


In a 24 hour time period we had 2 events that were long overdue. The events are a right of passage for parents and we were lucky to escape them for 16 months.

First was the dreaded exorcist style baby puking in the crib. I heard it before I saw it and knew it wasn't going to be good. He woke up & started crying so I was heading in when it happened & was shocked. I scooped up Zach and didn't know where to turn next so I not so calmly let Matt know I needed help. I calmed & cleaned up Zach and Matt got stuck with crib clean up. It was a shocking amount of puke & made me reminisce about some frat parties I attended.

The next incident happened the next evening....the poop in the tub. Matt handles bath time so it was his turn to yell frantically for me. Poor Matt for stuck with clean up duty again as Zach and I giggled.

Having a kid is gross. The puke & poop are just the tip of the bucket. I caught myself wiping snot from z's nose with my bare bare hand! At least I didn't have to fish a turd out of the tub with my bare hands...yet.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Best Friend Ba

I think the stuffed bunny Ba makes more of an appearance on this blog than anyone else besides Zach.  Best friend/mangey stuffed bunny Ba get dragged around by the ears everywhere Zach goes.  We got him a new one...which we had to scour the internet for and pay way more than the first one cost, seriously beanie baby collectors they are not of value, unless of course you have a toddler obsessed with one.  Zach rejects the new one probably due to its all around cleanliness and acceptable appearance.  Even though Ba is matted and looking rough from his weekly trip to the washer, Zach's love has reached new heights.  Zach gets a pacifier at nap and bed time...and when he can sneak one out during the day.  Of course Zach sleeps with Ba, not only sleeps but spoons with Ba.  Now when I put Zach down in the crib with Ba he makes sure to try to shove a pacifier in Ba's mouth to go night night.  It is sweet to see him sharing and loving on Ba.  Like clockwork, put Zach in crib, Zach sits up, finds extra pacifier (I think he has like 8 in there, whatever it takes to sleep through the night), puts pacifier on Ba's face, then he can lay down and go to sleep.  It is encouraging to see him nurture something since he is such a rough and tumble boy.  His little friend Ava tried to give him hugs and he gave her the Heisman pose and ran away.  A little girl at the library kept hugging him and he would just freeze with a look of sheer panic on his face.  We have dolls for him but he is disgusted by the sight of them, we get the no mama and he hits them.  He will hug and kiss me and Matt and sometimes other family members, but he doesn't like to stop running long enough for hugs.  He hates all things order and feminine so we'll continue to encourage his gentleness with Ba and hope it someday extends to others.  I guess in the mean time you should count yourself lucky you don't get one of Zach's open mouthed kisses only a mother can love.

Thursday, January 24, 2013


From the title you would think that I have any interest in the super bowl....I do not. This is about baby gymnastics which is like....wait for it to all tie in....a monkey humping a football, or for those who don't speak sailor, chaos. There are 20 kids 2 and under that just run wild for a half hour. That's right we pay for a class we have to attend with our child that teaches him nothing. It provides a large padded room for him to climb and run with abandon. I'm actually considering signing Zach up for 2 classes to help with the winter blues. Zach makes us so proud by just laying down in the middle of the chaos to catch his breath and assuming the class sings & claps just for him. They have circle time at the beginning & end of class & Zach likes to stand in the middle & clap & smile at all his adoring fans. He's got plenty of of self esteem. And it's a great activity for Matt & Zach, which makes this class well worth the money for this mama.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013


Last week with the sickies & this week with super cold temps it's safe to say we've been spending a lot of time at home. The colder it is the longer we stay in our pj's. It helps that Zach is sleeping later, until 8am on Monday which is unheard of. Usually we go somewhere everyday....library, y, store, somewhere little man can play with other people. As it gets colder we're hibernating more, which I admit has been kind of nice. Emptying the toy box and getting in it has been a new favorite activity that hurts my OCD tidy soul.

Saturday, January 19, 2013


A new million dollar question....applesauce or puke? They look remarkably similar. I'd like to blame this one on Zach just as I did the poop or dirt conundrum, but he's only responsible for the applesauce half. Zach had an applesauce pouch earlier in the day on Thursday and later that afternoon I got hit with the 48 hour stomach flu...which led to the mysterious spot on my yoga pants that could go either way. I decided on playing it safe and washing the pants instead of tasting the spot.

Also, close the bathroom door if you have a toddler and are going to get sick. Nothing adds insult to injury like a little guy repeatedly hitting you in the head with the toilet lid and laughing hysterically at his failed attempts to close the lid with your head hanging in the way. It's a classic move only performed at homes with small children or late night at frat parties.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Husband of the year

My husband is pretty fantastic most of the time. I mean he's the husband they put in movies who gets me flowers just because, likes to cook, helps with the housework & is an amazing dad. We're not perfect by any means...he still screws up & I still screw up, but we're perfect for each other. What did he do to get an entire mushy blog post? He spent his Wednesday (you know the one where he's supposed to do something for himself & recharge) compiling a surprise for me. It's no secret things have been rough here with little teether, who is now sick, and I've been in a funk of mom failure. I realize it's not my fault Zach's uncomfortable & unhappy, but it's tough to have no idea how to make it better. So Matt comes home from his Wednesday (z is still awake & screams if I'm not holding him an hour after bedtime) with flowers, wine, Milano cookies, Ben & Jerry's ice cream & a card. I'm not too proud to admit I cried. I don't know what I did to deserve this guy. I promise to remember this when I want to strangle him when he leaves his socks on the floor or whiskers all over the bathroom

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Teething...not for the faint of heart

How many teeth do kids have?! It's starting to feel like 100. It's no secret that we don't handle teething well. It takes a precise combination of snuggling, Tylenol & butt rash cream to survive the endless teething cycle. The molars coming in....all 4 at the same time....introduce a new twist. Zach likes to chew his fingers where teeth are coming in, but the molars are so far back he gags himself. It's like in survivor when they think it can't get worse then they take away all their water...only this would be the worst reality show ever. The bonus is I've been getting a lot of snuggles & hugs, which is generally unheard of since you have to stop moving to do those things. I reverse my dislike of Zach's Cars obsession, Lightening McQueen is helping us survive...well that and daddy and wine.

Monday, January 14, 2013


It seems Zach has an addictive personality.  He is officially addicted to the movie Cars.  He likes Thomas the Train, but is obsessed with Cars.  I have seen that movie more in the last 2 weeks than the entire 20 years before that.  If we haven't been graced with Lightening McQueen's presence Zach will bring me the remote control and cry yelling 'Cars mama, Cars' until I turn it that point he makes a shocking recovery and stops crying immediately.  It isn't a bad movie at least, but we're going to get crazy and get Cars 2 to have a little variety.  Matt kindly pointed out that is wasn't very educational, I objected and told him it teaches you not to be a jerk and to give more credit to those in 'hillbilly hell'.  There is one part in the movie that startles Zach every time.  It is super cute because he knows it is coming and will find a lap to climb on and snuggle with to get him through.  

We try a number of distractions to try to wean him off this addiction, but none have prevailed yet.  If anyone knows of a baby Disney Movies Anonymous program we would appreciate the info.  

Even finger painting wasn't doing the trick....actually Zach hated it, which was surprising since he hates order and cleanliness.  

Wednesday, January 9, 2013


I took my very first fitness class ever....that may not be entirely accurate, I think I took a half asleep spinning class in college but barely recall so I'm not sure it really happened....anyway...

I took a cycle sculpt class. I took this class since my brother told me how much he loves cycle, but I didn't want to commit to an entire hour of it since I'm a baby afraid of the unknown. The class showcased how clumsy I am. I almost fell off a stationary bike...I'm not sure how that would work our since your feet are clipped to the pedals, but I bet it wouldn't be pretty. I am so vain/desperate to fit in with the other stay at home moms I bought workout pants for my class...didn't work. I even bought the cute little Capri ones but it was like they could tell I got them at TJ Maxx, or maybe they just saw me swearing under my breath during the class or the f words I refused to say but I'm sure you would see by the look on my face. That shit is no joke. I usually delete the swear words but spinning deserves the actual curse word. The instructor was generous and gave us 20 extra minutes as well, which introduced me to the 7th level of hell. If I can ever climb stairs normally again I will love this class, I'll reserve judgement until then & will let you know if I actually manage to fall odd the bike next time.

Monday, January 7, 2013

15/16 Months

I haven't done a Zach update post in quite some time.  Since we went to the doctor last week for his 15 month check up I figured I would do a 15ish month check in.

- Good news, his body is growing into his head.  His head size is not off the charts anymore, it is average wahoo.

- He is just under 22lb putting him in the 30th percentile for weight and approx. 31" putting him in the 50th percentile for height.

- We're still rocking the size 3 diapers.  We are still doing cloth diapers, but are much less dedicated.  Between the traveling and holidays we are hit and miss.  We need to get back in the groove with the clothies.

- 18 month clothes.  We still have to roll the pants, but the shirts fit great. 

- Sleeping...11-12 hours at night and we're just transitioning to 1 nap for 2 hours....praise the lord.  I really thought we'd never get to this place with the sleeping.   

- Running, running, running.  Remember when I was so anxious for him to crawl, then to walk....I take it back.  Now being restrained in things like shopping carts and high chairs make him upset, he would much rather be running and he will not hold my hand and walk nicely through a amount of bribery has worked yet.

- He is still a talker.  He gets shy around people he doesn't know which is adorable since he just smiles at them and snuggles up to me.  His vocabulary has grown leaps and bounds.  His favorite words are no and cracker.  We're particularly proud of him when he smiles at us, does something he knows he is not supposed to do, and yells no while doing it....the apple of our eye.

- Favorite toys are any sort of cars, or papa's car (trucks), or tractors (also called papa's cars occasionally to make things confusing).  He loves to get on the floor and drive the cars complete with car noises.  He also loves books still, especially the ones with flaps or that make noise, and weirdly enough a stuffed Woody doll he got for Christmas (he has never seen toy story).  Of course Ba the blue bunny is still his go to best friend.

- Climbing has also become the greatest thing ever.  He will climb the steps and on any toy or piece of furniture he can manage.  His favorite things to climb is the chair in his room, and then climb up that to get on the big bed.  

- Favorite food is still graham crackers.  He still eats about anything, including eggs now.  Every once in awhile he will get picky and reject vegetables.  

- Tummy issues- we have struggles with gas and constipation issues always.  It is still a struggle, but we believe pumpkin helps in combination with a super high fiber diet.  

- He thinks the dog is hilarious and will yell for him at the door when he is outside.  Zach still calls him dog dog instead of JJ.  

- He had his first trip out of the country for Uncle Eric's wedding in Mexico and is an awesome little traveler.  For this trip I made Matt trim off his rat tail/baby curls.  

I just love this kid so much.  He is looking more and more boy then baby, which breaks my heart a little bit.  He gives hugs and kisses and uses his fork.  I feel like he learns something new everyday and it is hard to keep up.  I could go on for days, but these are the highlights.  He is more into independent play and will tell me 'no mama' sometimes, which is nice but again a little heartbreaking.  A little room to breath and get house things done has me missing my days of snuggling and sleeping in the chair together.  We couldn't be more proud or happy of our little guy.  I can't believe it has been so long since his first birthday party and so much has happened!

Not sure who is liking the tractor more...Zach or Daddy?

Hamster tunnel...I mean kids toy....success

This tent & tunnel combo was probably the cheapest present we bought, but has turned out to be the best money spent.  If you have a wiggly toddler I recommend you go to Meijer and get yourself a $15 tent thing.  Zach even lays in it, with Woody of course, and watches Thomas.  He will now lay down when getting tired and needing just a little break instead of acting a fool and making himself crazy.

Happy ornery...

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Dog or Toddler?

Can you guess if I had to say these phrases to a dog or toddler?

- No licking the floor
- You just got pee everywhere
- Get that out of your mouth
- Get back here
- No biting
- Get down from there
- Stop touching your butt

If you guessed both on each of these you are correct.

Thursday, January 3, 2013


Embarrassing facts of the day:

I still check on Zach when he sleeps to make sure he's breathing.

I said out loud today "stop licking the carpet" the baby, not the dog.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Potty times

I'm still compiling my new years resolutions, but apparently potty training should be one if them. We have had the baby potty out for awhile. It's just there, we'll mention it occasionally, but it's primary function is to sit do Zach gets used to it and I get a visual reminder that I won't have to change poo diapers forever. One morning z is clearly sitting in the middle of the living room trying to make poo....he's such a little man, he was just missing the sports page....and per usual I ask if he wants to sit on the potty. Hold the freaking phone he runs to the bathroom & we situate & he sits on the potty. Nothing happens, but still a big step.

Oh wait, the saga doesn't end here....if this were a soap opera we would now introduce the evil twin, but since it's just a lowly mom blog we just reintroduce nana. Later that day he went to nana's and pooped in her baby potty. Now if you don't have children this has just been a long, semi disgusting, post about nothing. If you have kids you are either clapping or semi envious of the strides in potty potential in our home. I clapped and cheered more than when I was an actual cheerleader (very briefly). That stinko in the potty made me way more excited than any middle school football game.