Monday, December 16, 2013

I'm a Goofball

Today Zach had his first haircut at an actual place. He did surprisingly well, especially since we tried about a year ago and never made it to actually getting out scissors. Now it doesn't look like the home made bowl cut everyone has come to know and love. Or now there are not long and short chunks of hair....the tell tale sign of cheap parents and home haircuts.

Apparently the haircut made him lose his mind. Since he has been up from nap he's been running around jumping and yelling "I'm a goofball". He is acting a fool and I have no idea why, unless Matt snuck him some sugar....but that would just be stupid since he's here watching this train wreck as well.

Today I also caught Zach changing the baby dolls diaper and telling her she should use the potty to get an M&M....even though Zach refuses to use the potty.

He also played with his kitchen, which is normal. What's not normal is him drinking a pretend beer..."look beer, I drink beer, gulp gulp, yum".

Thank god tomorrow is a daycare/work day.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Oh Nap Time

I always have grand plans of being productive during nap time. I have a list a mile long and good intentions of working out. These things rarely happen. By the time nap gets here I'm happy to be showered and get to eat lunch. After Zach finally falls asleep, I get his lunch picked up, eat my lunch, go to the bathroom since I've been holding it for hours, pick up toys, and finally sit down and realize I only have about 50 precious minutes of quiet left.

Should I workout or cross things off my to do list with those kid free minutes? You bet. But more often than not I squander it looking online or just relaxing for a few minutes.

I used to feel bad about my lack of productivity, but have officially given up and embrace the relaxation. I only have a few more weeks with just one kid so I figure I better get my r & r while I can.

Friday, December 6, 2013

Practicing for 2 kids

Today I decided it would be a good idea to practice having 2 kids. I watched a friend of mines 1 year old in addition to Zach.

I knew it was going to be a smashing success when Zach & I had this conversation this morning:

Me: "remember our friend is coming to play with us all day at our house"

Zach: "nooooo! No friend here. Zach's house. Zach toys. No share with baby"

I mean really, how could it go wrong? Having 2 kids is going to be awesome.

Minus some initial jealousy from a 2 year old, it did go pretty great. Before you're in awe at my amazing patenting skills, you should know it went so well because my husband was home too. I only had an hour or so by myself with both kids.

Matt saved the day at nap time since the kids are on different schedules. We divided & conquered these little dictators. I also learned our crib is still on its lowest setting & my preggo belly doesn't bend like it used too.

As it is now, everyone is sleeping (the 2 year old, 1 year old & 32 year old) and I'm patting myself on a job well done. 6 hours with 2 kids down, 18 more years to go....

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Farmer Living

Generally, in this household, I'm the farmer and Matt is the professional. I'm the one who could drive the bobcat and other big equipment first, knew about grain yields and markets, and was gone all hours in the spring since "you make hay when the sunshines"....or some such nonsense farmer phrase used as an excuse to miss events and come and go as you please.

Clearly I work hard

Matt has always shown interest in helping farm and the tables have turned. He helped with the harvest this fall and I must admit it sucks being on the other side.  The last minute, 'sorry hun, we have to do this tonight before it rains', or 'the elevator doesn't close until 7pm so don't wait up'.

I now realize how terrible I was to live with for 3-4 months of the year.  I know I'm guilty of telling Matt 'I won't be long'....and then coming back 4 hours later since something else needed done immediately.  
So excited to going out to work in the cold decked out in all Carhartt gear

For all you city folks, harvest consists of the combine taking down the crops in the field, dumping said crops in a truck of some sort, and then taking the crop to the elevator for harvest.  Now this seems like it should be seamless and is not.  If I've learned anything, it is that nothing is fast in farming.

I'm happy to see this harvest finished up, but even happier to see Matt so proud of himself.  He is from a suburb of Youngstown, Ohio....once known as the murder capital and needless to say much more urban than the little farm village we live in now.  Matt is an engineer and loves to figure out new things and processes, so farming is right up his alley.  I have only been able to keep my patience because Matt does love being a country boy so much, and he sometimes takes Zach in the trucks and combines with him.
Farmer Matt planting the very important crop of grass for our yard

I never anticipated staying in the little town I grew up in and doing any of these things, especially not marrying a farm boy.  I hated farming, small town living, you name it.  It is funny how life changes.  I am grateful for the new experiences Matt and Zach get to have around here and couldn't be happier with our quiet little life.

Everybody is put to work on the farm...

That being said, if I hear one more hunting/deer story from this season I may consider moving to New  York City.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Yet another pee incident

It's been pretty low key around here. Zach decided to liven things up tonight.

There was a pee incident. Matt finished up giving Zach a bath, and per usual, let him run to his room naked. You would think we learned our lesson when he peed on his bed. Matt turns around to head down the hall after naked baby and sees him the walkway down onto the first floor....probably on the dog on the couch below. He was so proud of himself telling daddy "Zach peeing!"

He also told us the baby is a girl named excavator.

I should never take the quiet, low key for granted.

The scene of the crime...

Monday, November 4, 2013

Today's heartbreak

Zach: "I like apples"
Me: "I like you"
Zach: "I like apples, I no like you mommy"

Happy Monday.

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween!  Zach is dressing as a pirate and I'm dressing as an emotional pregnant woman.....ask me where my costume is today and I'm likely to start crying or throat punch you, who knows which way it will go.

We talked about trick or treating, and by talked about it I told Matt we were going and he rolled his eyes and asked if we were going for me or for Zach.  I responded with 'does it matter'....touche husband, got you there.  Lucky for him it is raining and gross out so we're skipping trick or treat while we still can.  Kid only wants smarties and I'll eat everything else, so it is probably good we're skipping.

I made Zach's costume this year.  It is something I remember my mom doing and feeling likes the bees knees since she is an awesome seamstress.  I couldn't wait to make our kids costume.  Enter Zach....he wants to  be a pirate since I told him his buddy Jake was being a pirate.  Easy enough, whip up a pirate costume with minimal amounts of swearing only to have him refuse to wear it.  Seriously kid.  I should have bought the $10 pirate kit and called it a day.  We got him a fake sword to bribe him to wear his costume.

The good news is I got him to put on his costume for school today.  He put it on and kept going 'pretty' which I wanted to be like 'I told you so' but that didn't seem very mature.  So I get to school this morning and he is the only one in his costume already.  Not only that but all the other kids have these elaborate full body suit costumes hanging in their cubbies.....daycare mom fail.  I justify it with the fact Zach would sweat his face off in one of those costumes inside and I'm sure his teach appreciated not having to shove him in his costume for their Halloween parade.

If he doesn't get smarties today he is going to be ticked.  If Matt eats all the reeces tonight I'm going to be ticked......Halloween, loved by fatties and kids everywhere.

Friday, October 25, 2013

TGIF and a Little Romance

It's almost the weekend, which usually means I do a lot of the same things I do during the week. The stay at home mom life is glamorous I tell ya & I often lose track of what day it is.

But this weekend we're having a much needed date night woo hoo! I believe Zach is even spending over with Nana so we can both sleep in....praise the lord.

Romance used to be candles and little love the sexiest thing Matt can do for me (& vice versa) is give me his sleep in day. I sleep in on Saturdays & Matt sleeps in on Sunday, it's a system that works for us and it's like winning the lottery getting an extra sleep in day.

My husband really is the best. He is such a romantic & I am not. I'll come home to flowers on a random Tuesday with a note on how proud he is of me & how much he appreciates me....I felt good because I got his coffee ready for him, fail Jessica. After taking care of Zach & the ever needy gimp dog all day, I'm left on empty. I muster up what I can for Matt, but it's usually nothing to brag about. I'm working on realizing doing the dishes & making dinner doesn't always count as romance.....not always, but sometimes :)

Romance changes over time & after kids you find it more in the little things day to day. Why yes it is hot that you emptied the dishwasher & took Zach to the man store* to give me 30 minutes of quiet, but I'm really excited to have an old fashioned, no kid, romantic date at a restaurant without crayons & a movie if we can stay awake long enough.

* I don't actually know what the man store is....I assume it's Home Depot & hope it's not some weird strip club.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Lets start over Monday

Today started with snotty toddler vomit.  The second round I caught with my hand....and it was worth it.  It was going to get on our new couch and I figured I would rather have a handful of vomit than a stinky, puke stained couch.

Once every one was settled and all medications passed out (JJ is still on more meds than a senior citizen) my first thought was, 'man I hope this is just drainage or something he ate so he can go to school tomorrow'.  I'm officially the worst stay at home mom ever.

To be fair, we are going on 10 days of post surgery needy dog and 1 week of ear infection toddler who gets up in the night and is crabby.  It has been a trying week and the puke was the icing on the cake.

But then I got to talk to an old friend and all about her 2 1/2 month old.  While I was chatting on the phone Zach climbed up in the chair with me, snuggled up, and let me rock him to sleep.  I sat there long after the conversation was over rocking and snuggling that little guy.  It has been a long time since he let me rock him like that.  Between that awesome feeling you get from  catching up with a friend and that awesome feeling of your toddler slowing down to rock with you, I was ready to take a deep breath and start over.

I'm not sure how long my patience will linger if JJ hits me with his cone again or Zach goes 'I hit mommy' one more time, but for now I'm starting over.  It may also be all the oatmeal cookies I ate instead of working out that put me back in my patient mom mode, who knows.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Cone of shame

We love our old 90 pound dog, even though I complain about him on a daily basis. Recently JJ had to have surgery. He had a mass removed from his leg and has to wear the dog cone of shame.

JJ is a big dog, so it makes sense that the cone he has to wear is giant. I hope you have never been be coned is to be run into with the big plastic cone and it hurts like the devil. It's like being involved in a drive by with dogs instead of gangsters. I'll be cooking dinner and get clipped in the knee. Or the best is riding in the car to the countless vet appointments that accompany a dog surgery and getting the cone to the face or ear.

Seriously JJ....

He has not hit Zach, but is not impressed with Zach's constant game of peek a boo. Yes, Zach thinks the cone is just JJ's way of playing with him. We have to check the cone for little cars & tractors since Zach is a giver & likes to drive them in the cone.

It's hard to be too mad since JJ looks so sad and pathetic. Hard, not impossible...

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Baby #2 update!

It seems like this pregnancy is flying by. I'm due on March 2 and almost 21 weeks along.

With Zach I never got sick....I also worked out everyday and ate super healthy....I hate the old me, you can too. As for this time, that is laughable. I had a lot of morning sickness until about week 14, then I wanted to eat everything to make up for lost time. Needless to say when you're tossing your cookies working out does not sound like a good idea. I'm active with Zach, but am now trying to get back into the swing of actual work outs.

I've gained 10 pounds so far. I gained 30 with Zach, so we'll see how this one goes. I've only gained 10 pounds, but somehow my boobs and butt continue to grow at a rapid pace. I was not prepared for the bigger booty.

I finally have a belly! I'm fairly sure this will be my last pregnancy so I was very anxious for the big pregnant belly. About 18 weeks I finally started showing and for whatever reason I'm super psyched about that.

We had our ultrasound but did not find the gender. We didn't find out with Zach and it was a pretty awesome surprise, so we'll wait again. I have no idea or feelings either way. I truly do not care either way. A girl would be nice to have one of each, but having a girl also terrifies me slightly. A boy would be nice, brothers and all that, but I shudder thinking about all the dirt and black eyes.

I'm doing the daily blood thinner injections again this time, and this is the main reason this will probably be my last pregnancy. All looks well with me and baby so we're just praying for a healthy few more months and delivery.

Oh yeah....and Zach still thinks we're just going to take a baby home with us from daycare. Maybe as my belly grows it will click for him.

....and I should probably put on make up or at least dry my hair if I'm going to post a picture of myself...

Wednesday, October 9, 2013


Today I started singing a song being silly. It's a song Zach sings and knows. He promptly informed me to "stop it mommy, stop it". Incase I was confused he made sure to follow up with "stop singing mommy".

While I'm impressed with his sentences and clear speech, I thought he wasn't supposed to realize I was a terrible singer until later in life?

My child is 2 and already embarrassed of me when I act silly in front of him and the dog. I can't wait to see how embarrassed he gets in high school when I'm actually trying to look stupid, not to be confused with my normal stupidity.

Monday, October 7, 2013


Long time no see...we've been busy with all things fall around here.

Most notably is going apple picking. There is a super cute apple orchard not far from where we live so we decided to try apple picking. It was a huge success. Zach (and daddy) loved playing hide and seek in the apple trees and running around. I loved the hot cider and apple spice donut.

Surprising everybody, Zach also rode on a pony. This may not seem like much of a feat to most, but considering Zach won't go near the fake horse at the grocery store let alone ride it, we were shocked. Zach just kept saying "I like pony...good pony". I was happy we didn't waste $3 and have to be the ones to stop the ride because our kid was scared of a pony....crisis averted.

Zach also got to ride a train thing. I was slightly nervous when the train pulled into the trees out of sight, but then remembered no one wants to steal 6 kids ages 2-6....that would be miserable.

This is the kind of activity you envision when you're pregnant. Generally these Kodak moments are cut short due to tantrums, nap times, or diaper disasters, but the gods were smiling down on us and it went just like I hoped and we can't wait to go again.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

We need an intervention

Why is the child in the picture crying? Because he wants to harvest. Yes. That's right, he cried for a solid 10 minutes yelling "I wanna harvest" after seeing a picture of a combine. His tractor obsession was weird before, but now we're in intervention territory.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Super Mommy Myth

The other day a friend of mine saw the Thomas the Train cake I made for Zach's birthday and called me super mom.  After I got done laughing hysterically I commented back that I am not super mom, it just looks like it online.  So to keep it real, here are some truths that do not usually make it online...

I did post pictures of Zach's cake, but not the sad excuse for a birthday snack for him to take to school.  The animal crackers and frosting looked so cute on Pinterest, but somehow just looked sad and lazy when I put it all together.  I'm sure his teacher was super impressed.
My mom helped me with this cake...but I'm still really proud of it.  The most domestic "mom" thing I've done to date.

I hate to cook.  I am beginning to like it some, but I will never love it.  Some people say it is relaxing and I think they are on crack.  You know what is relaxing?  Watching my husband cook while I drink a glass of wine, possibly with Zach over at Nana and Papa's.  I am beginning to like trying new things, but am an avid recipe follower.  Any recipe that uses only 1 pot I will try and if it's not terrible I'll put it in the rotation frequently.  I only cook since it's part of my "job" as a stay at home mom.

Weekend away at Kelley's Island....I was clearly excited for our early morning's a good thing you can cook husband.
I look forward to daycare days.  I choose to stay home.  I am so fortunate to get that choice and have agonized over it since Zach has been born since you give up something either way.  I love being a stay at home mom, but I'm ready for Tuesday school day every week.  Zach loves it and I look forward to it.  Yes, Zach does not have to go to daycare at all, but I think it is good for both of us.  Somedays I catch up on all things house like, other days I take "Jessica Days".  I stress less about him learning enough at home and if he is behind and social and blah blah....all the normal stay at home fears.  I also get out of the messy disaster of painting at home since he does it at school each week.  Win.
I'm smiling at Matt since this was following the giant fart/poop/almost blow out that happened during Zach's baptism...we were so proud, as was the family getting their daughter baptized with Zach.

On the same thread...there are days when I ask myself why in the hell I stay home.  I worked hard for my 2 degrees and on days that Zach has been to timeout 10 times by 1pm, fed his lunch to the dog, and pees on his car bed, I tell myself "I could be at work, with adults, having lunch at a restaurant where I don't have to pack 30 tractors and 7 books to keep everybody under control".  But then Zach will get up from nap and ask to snuggle or the next day will be an amazing day and I can't imagine not being home.  It's day by day.
Double not impressed...

My house always needs vacuumed.  We have a giant black dog that leaves hair everywhere.  I have given up.  I vacuum 2 times a week and it does not matter.  If you come over you will have dog hair on you if you touch anything.  I am a little bit OCD where I like things picked up so it will always appear clean, but if you look closely you will learn it is not.  For the love of all things holy do not sit on the recliner in the toy room....that is the chair the dog prefers and I barely vacuum the floors, let alone the furniture.
About the time I realized I may be pregnant again....yes, Zach is still awake and I'm passed out.

There are so many more ways that I fail everyday.  It is a struggle almost everyday to reassure myself that I am a good mom and I'm doing a decent job.  My kid knows he is loved and we do the best we can and that is all I can ask for.  Everyone has their own short comings, yours will be different from mine, but please don't're doing a great job and I'm proud of you for keeping your kid alive, even if they only eat graham crackers or watch TV during the day.

Friday, September 20, 2013

Potty training fail...again...

Zach was doing well sitting on the potty and showing interest in actually getting rid of the diapers for good.....then he wasn't. It's like someone turned a switch and he's like hell no I'm not sitting on that thing. I'm not sure what changed but at this rate he'll go to college with diapers, and probably his stuffed animal Ba....and maybe his pacifier.

We hit a new potty training failure. Matt finished up giving Zach a bath and, like every other time, Zach ran naked to his room while Matt grabbed the wet towel. Matt walks into Zach's bedroom to see him standing and peeing all over his car bed. He was so proud of himself, "daddy I peeing!".

To add insult to injury there is a Zach sized potty in the bathroom he came from, but also in his bedroom approximately 5 feet from where he peed all over his things.

I could understand if he was older and possibly drunk, because who hasn't peed in an inappropriate place while drink, but really kid?! I guess on the bed is better than on the floor.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Zach is 2!

My baby is 2 as of yesterday.  I still can't believe it.  He is such a hilarious little guy and is growing into his personality.  He brings so much joy to our lives and we can't wait to see how he continues to grow and develop.

He is 24 lb and 4 oz, putting him in the 20-25% and 32" long, putting him in the 30%.

He wears size 2T and the pants finally fit his short little legs.

Still in diapers, we're working on using the potty.  He was doing well with it, and then flat out refused.  He may or may not go to high school in a diaper at this point.

He still naps, praise the lord!  We head upstairs for bed around 8:15pm.  We wash hands, face, and brush teeth before we read books and pray.  He is usually out by 8:45pm at the latest.  He naps anywhere from 2-3 hours after lunch.

His favorite foods are peanut butter toast and chicken nuggets...and donuts.  The donuts are probably my fault.  They have been a pregnancy craving so we get one when we go to the grocery store if he is a good boy during the shopping.  He eats a little bit of everything.  Vegetables are a tough sell and we hide them in foods.  He is a sugar kid, maybe because he doesn't get a ton he gets super excited about it.  We kept telling him it was his birthday and he just kept responding "birthday cake!"

He did not want to blow out his candle, he just wanted to burn the wheels (oreo's) of the cake.
His favorite thing ever is tractors.  Trains are a close second.  After his birthday party this weekend it looks like we're running a small John Deere store.  He has to bring one of his tractors with him everywhere and wants to go to Nana and Papa's to ride their gator everyday....multiple times a day.  He can ride in the gator or a tractor for hours.  I cannot wait for harvest, he is going to lose his baby mind riding with Papa.  He also knows the difference between all the farm not try to tell him a hay wagon is a hopper wagon, he will tell you what is up with some sass.

He talks so so so much.  He takes after his daddy and is going to be the life of the party that makes friends anywhere he goes.  His vocabulary is expanding everyday and he surprises us with what he knows everyday.  He uses full sentences, counts to 10 (always forgetting 5), knows the first bit of the ABC's, and apparently knows some letters.  He surprised us by pointing out the H in his Happy Birthday sign and going "H".

Making sure to feed his new toy deer some cake.
He goes to daycare 2 times a week and loves playing with his friends.  He asks to go on the weekends and runs to his room every time we go.  He also loves the weirdly loves the library...he gets that from his mama.

We love this kid to the moon and back, even if he does make us want to bang our head against the wall sometimes.  No and mine are big in his vocabulary now.  Thank you for making us smile everyday with your phrases such as "I farted mommy", "I love tractors", and so much more.

Monday, September 9, 2013

Dear frat boys....

Dear frat boys that were playing beer pong in their front yard on Saturday,

Thank you and I think I love you.

Crazy old lady

Now let's back up so I don't seem like a weirdo creeping on 19 year olds.

The closest town to our country home stead is a college town. I volunteered at a local festival on Saturday night from 8pm-11pm since everyone else has a life and they couldn't find enough volunteers for that particular shift. As I was walking to my shift I passed some frat boys playing beer pong in their yard and didn't give it a thought since this is common practice when school is in session.

But then something happened....they yelled 'hey'. I look around, no one but me so I begin to prepare myself for an old lady joke or for them to ask me to buy them beer. And then it happened....they asked me to come drink with them and play beer pong.

Be still my heart...they thought I was young enough to play beer pong in the yard of a rented house with them. I'm almost 30 years old and just shy of 4 months pregnant, this was the biggest compliment ever. I wanted to hug them but thought that would get weird for them. I didn't respond at all for fear I would call them young men or good chaps or something else like that and they would see past my well chosen outfit and see the old preggo I really was.

I really shouldn't have liked the beer pong invite as much as I did, but as all of my pants slowly become too small and I inch closer to 30 everyday, I'll take what I can get.

Friday, September 6, 2013


Yesterday Matt and I went together to pick up Zach from daycare. They have an outdoor play area you can see as you walk up. Usually Zach sees our car and runs to the fence and put his arms out, like a little prisoner, while yelling "mommy! Daddy!".

Yesterday was different. He didn't even notice us. He only had eyes for a little girl on the playground. He kept walking towards her as we wondered what he was doing. We got scanned in and head out to get Zach and what do you know....Zach and this little girl are just standing there holding hands.

She was at least 2 years older and a whole head taller than Zach. I was not excited my baby is trying to pick up older girls already.

I am in trouble. I did not like him holding hands with a 5 year old, I can't wait to see what I do when he brings home a 15 year old. Everyone jokes about the dad, but I'll be the one on the front porch cleaning the gun when he brings home dates....if he's smart he'll avoid bringing them home for us to interrogate.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

A dirty little secret & a Pinterest success

I have a dirty little secret to share with you......prepare yourselves....I'm a closet crafter.  Actually, I'm more of a sewer.  I have a kick butt sewing machine that I love to use to unwind.  I feel better that my dirty  nerdy little secret is out.  Even nerdier (is that even a word?) is that I got started sewing as a kid in 4-H.  I made a tank top and shorts out of cow, I wish I had pictures of that gem too since I had to model it in the 4-H fashion show...and I looked like a boy....and probably stunk since I was that kid that didn't like to shower...but my mom didn't take pictures of me for good reason.  I was the third child and had a very long awkward phase, she was being kind by not taking pictures.

That was a lot of dirty little secrets all at once.  If you haven't shut down this page in bewilderment or disgust I'll share my Pinterest success.

I made a floor pillow.  It is fairly easy, even a non experienced sewer could do it and save some cash.

We have a toddler that likes to flop and jump around so he needed his own seat to throw around since he would get super ticked when the ottoman wouldn't move easily for him.

I followed this tutorial on the blog Living With Punks.  It is a great step by step tutorial with pictures.  She has some other great ones on there as well.

It is toddler approved and the perfect size for my 2 year old.  I believe there is a tutorial on there for a bigger one for teens.  By the time Zach is a teenager he better be able to sit on furniture without acting like a fool, but just incase maybe I'll make the bigger one for the future.  

Monday, September 2, 2013


Zach has a new favorite word. No is not sufficient in getting his point across, he now responds with nope. I don't know why nope seems more insulting than the standard no, but somehow it is. Only after Zach started saying it did I realize I say it a lot....poor Matt...stuck in a house of nope. The best is when Zach and I answer Matt in unison with "nope".

Thursday, August 29, 2013

You haven't taken a pregnancy test in a McDonald's Bathroom?

You haven't lived until you have taken a pregnancy test in a McDonald's bathroom.  Nothing makes you feel better about your life than getting some of the greatest news you'll ever receive somewhere they sell burgers for $1.

Now lets back up.  I'm not a classy lady by any means, but this is a little weird even for me.  We did not have internet hooked up yet and I needed to get some actual work done and pay bills online and what not, so I planned on dropping Zach off at school and going to the McDonald's nearby to steal their wifi.  I had been feeling funny for a few days and it finally dawned on me on the way to drop off Zach that holy smokes I may be pregnant.  Insert immediate panic and irrational trains of thought.

It went a little like this in my crazy mind...."oh my God I'm pregnant, I know I'm pregnant...I have to figure out if I really am before I order that giant coffee....need to find preggo test ASAP...Could I be I hope so but don't get excited...calm down....calm down....calm down"

So that is how I ended up buying a pregnancy test at Walmart and taking it in the McDonald's bathroom....I ooze class and grace.  One positive pregnancy test later I ordered a damn smoothie and yogurt parfait instead of my delicious coffee and  egg mcmuffin.  I calmly got my food and called Matt to let him know the news and that I was excited and surprised and holy smokes here we go again.

I can't wait to share with baby the magical story of how we learned he or she was going to be joining out lives.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

What a month

Hello again friends! It has been awhile. What have we been up to? Not much, just.....moving, reorganizing, starting a new job (me), traveling for work (Matt), growing a baby (me), helping with my brothers reception, planning Zach's birthday, and dealing with the daily dramatics that come with an almost 2 year old.

It has been a little hectic this last month.

Not helping is Zach's new love for whining and crying. I did get him to say "I'm so dramatic" which was awesome. Not so awesome was when he pushed over a box fan to stand on top of it then put himself in timeout....we're in trouble.

I'm going to try to keep up with 3 days a week...Monday, Wednesday and Friday I imagine since that's when the random hilarity ensues with Zach home during the day.

"mommy I go timeout....timeout on stairs"....

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Go Browns

I have been a Cleveland Browns fan my entire life. My dad made us pick teams to cheer for when we were young & I picked the Browns & never considered another option.....not when we didn't have a team for a few years, or when we never win, or when they traded Phil Dawson (this was the closest I came to finding a winning team). My grandma just told me that for my 7th birthday I told her I would like anything Browns for my I've been loyal, and I was clearly a weirdo tom boy yikes.

Matt like the Browns as well and for his 30th birthday I got him season tickets. It's really a present for both of us since I get to go to the games & it ends up being a nice adults only day.

We got an awesome surprise at the first preseason game. We were randomly involved in a season ticket holder fan recognition. We hung out in the guest locker room before the game eating hot dogs, we're given a jersey, got to hang out on the field watching the warm up for an hour before the game, and lastly got to go out on the field for the national anthem. It was amazing. I was way more excited than the few kids there and most of the men. I could have touched the Rams kicker's butt, but Matt said it wasn't a good idea.

I think my face hurt from smiling so much. Both of us agreed while season tickets are expensive, it's the best decision/birthday present ever. Someday we'll take Zach to a game & hopefully make him a little Browns weirdo like I am.

Monday, August 5, 2013

Parks and weirdos

Today we got crazy and went to the park in the town next to us...insanity I tell you. Our town is technically a village and it has nice parks, but they're small. The town next to us is by no means a thriving metropolis, but you would have thought we went to Disney.

There were small play areas for the toddlers and other stuff for the big kids. To us it was huge and well worth the visit.

With that being said, we are not used to sharing the park so I got to see what other kids are like. I'm feeling much better about our parenting skills. One 3 year old boy threw a fist full of sand at Zach when he entered the sand box. An older kid about knocked Zach off a play set acting like an idiot. And I saw more booger eaters and straight up weird kids than I have ever seen before.

It didn't help 3 different daycare/preschools also came to the park.....Zach was in heaven, I had a panic attack I was going to lose him in the sea of kids.

And yes, a new park does count as an exiting event in the stay at home mom life....I realize this is a little pathetic, but it's the small victories that keep me from day drinking.

Of course Zach immediately went to the biggest slide intended for much older children. One 6 year old called me out for letting him on the big kids slide....I debated telling that booger eater what was up, but went with the smile and nod instead.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Getting classy

Today is a pretty awesome day. We are getting wifi again and I have a date classy today.

It's easy to assume everyone has wifi, I mean why would you not?! Well, when you rent a cabin in the middle of nowhere when you're building your dream home, beggars can't be choosers. We were rural enough we could not get a single wifi signal....yes, we're that country. It has been almost 3 years and I'm super excited to be reunited with technology and not have to walk to my parents to steal their wifi. Rural life problems.

And I have a date tonight with my husband. A date that doesn't involve picking light fixtures or paint colors....this hasn't happened in quite some time.

Best hump day ever. Maybe with my new Internet access I won't write every blog post on my phone and they'll actually look nice and have pictures throughout and not just at the bottom....maybe...

Monday, July 29, 2013

Sleepy boy

It's safe to say with all the moving, organizing, cleaning, and worrying that comes with moving we're all pooped.

Matt and I have been stressing over getting things together and making sure Zach acclimates to the new place. It turns out Zach loves the house and transitioned seamlessly, but a new issue arose.....

Zach is exhausted from running around all this new found space, including going up and down the stairs 100 times a day. We didn't realize the extra running was taking a toll until he fell asleep in his wagon while on a walk. Yup. I look back and he is bobbing and weaving like Muhammad Ali. At first I thought he was just dancing around, but realized his eyes were closed and heard snoring. I was worried his big 'ole head was going to tip him out of the wagon so I carried him back to the house to put him down....he did not wake up during any part of this transition. I also realized when I was carrying him back he is getting big and I'm not so sad he'd rather walk these days than be carried.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Morning stroke

I've been MIA for the week, but with good reason....we moved! Did I mention we were building our dream house for the last 7 months? No? Well, we were and it's finally done and we're all moved in!

Zach is taking to the new house wonderfully. He loves all the space and running around and he really loves his room and race car bed.

Zach is adjusting fine, me and Matt are apparently struggling. I locked myself out this morning....while Zach was inside...with no phone or shoes (I was luckily wearing pants and a bra). We live in the country so when I say neighbor, they are a good half mile away. Luckily our neighbors are my parents and there were keys left in one of the vehicles. After trying countless ways to break in I knew I would have to drive like hell to my parents for help, or at the very least a phone to call for help.

I think I had 5 strokes in the 5 minutes it took me to drive over, run in, give my parents a heart attack, and drive back. Much to my surprise Zach was a great listener and was sitting in the same spot by the back sliding door when I returned. And random new house fact, an almost 2 year old is not tall enough to unlock any of the doors.

My dad saved the day by busting in the back door. It was straight out of a movie. He is pretty much Donnie Wahlburg in the show Blue've probably never seen it since its on Friday nights and most people are not at home like us party animals...but trust me he is pretty bad ass.

Everyone was fine, we just have some door repairs to attend to. Matt also slipped in the attic and cracked the drywall in the ceiling. At this rate we're just going to invite people over to throw hammers at the walls.

I'm trying to slow my heart rate with a greasy Starbucks breakfast sandwich and sugar coffee....if this doesn't work I'm turning to the bloody Mary's.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Play doh confusion

Another classic Zach conversation for the day....

Nana was playing with Zach and they were playing with play doh. Nana had black play doh and made a snake.

Nana "Zach, a snake"

Zach "No Nana, dog poop"

At least he knows what it looks like. The real question is does he seek it out or avoid it?

Thursday, July 11, 2013


Me: "I love you Zach"

Zach: "I love JJ, Maggie"

JJ and Maggie are our dogs. Just another heart breaking day as a mother ha!

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Rain, rain go away...

It has rained here everyday for at least 2 weeks. Annoying as a normal person traveling to and from work, seriously terrible as a stay at home mom.

It is pretty clear Zach would like to live outside. We're usually outside by 8am and if we're not he's crying at the door to go out. He views the house as his jail. Now he stands at the door crying 'raining mommy, I want out'....yes my sweet child I want out too and have been getting down right angry at the poor weatherman.

I have found I'm much better at entertaining the crazy toddler outside...we play in the dirt, go on bike rides, look at tractors, you name it. You stick me inside for a week and I'm losing it. Why no I don't want to play trains or cars for the millionth time this week with one crabby man. Notice Noah didn't take any children on his man.

Please pray for sun before Zach and I both lose it and our house forever smells of wet dog and desperation. We miss outside...

Monday, July 8, 2013

Cookouts and leftovers

Over the long holiday weekend we had a cookout just about everyday. Zach loves being outside so I figured he would be in heaven, and he was. He was a dirty kid all weekend. A bath every night did ensured he slept clean, but each day brought a new pile of dirt to explore....boys, ugh.

The best part of all the cook outs is my family is made up of fabulous cooks. It clearly skipped me. Seeing how my family knows how much I hate cooking they all send me home with food. I'm eating better this week with left overs than we do any other time.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Firework fail

Happy 4th of July!

In celebration we took Zach to see fireworks. I was not optimistic when he woke up super early and was crabby all evening leading up to the big event. After a melt down on the way to our spot, and me debating turning around several times, things started to look up.

We met my brothers family and Zach was like a new kid. He was so happy to see my niece and nephew he laughed and was like they were little priests who exercised the demon out of him.

I was still ready to run to my car at the signs of a melt down and never thought we would actually make it until the fireworks started. Zach hung in there like a champ and snuggled up with my sister in law (I'm so chopped liver when he's with my brothers fam) for the start if the show.

We made it all of 4 minutes maybe. He started out ok, then he started to whimper, then cry. I snatched him up and he goes 'scared mommy' in his tiny little toddler voice. I felt like mom of the year for sure, so we hauled it out of there to come home. On the way it was determined he liked the colors, but the loud noise scared him.

We played for 2 hours and saw a whole 4 minutes of fireworks....maybe next year will be better?

Saturday, June 29, 2013

You know you're a parent when...

You know you're a parent when.....

at 6:45am on a Saturday morning you're on your way to breakfast (since the power went out the night before & you're left with no food) quoting Disney movies with your husband....

we are awesome....I can't believe it's not even 10am yet it feels like 4pm.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Proud parents

We were watching the news when it showed the radar with a large storm moving towards our town. It was quite obvious by the big red blob we were going to get rain.

Me "Matt we're going to get some rain"

Zach "no shit"

Me "what did you say?!"

Zach "no shit"

At least he used it appropriately.

Monday, June 24, 2013

Newborn Must Haves

We seem to have a lot of pregnant ladies in our life currently....just to be clear, I'm not one of I figured I would join the thousands of lists online of baby must haves. There are lists upon lists of things you need to buy for your little bundle of joy. Guess what, on my list you don't need to spend a dime. Baby doesn't care about name brands and you can get by without a $200 swing. True, I would have married our swing when Zach was 5 months old, but turns out he liked the porch swing just as much. This is a list of just the necessities as determined by the renowned baby experts (ha) Me and my husband...

1. A good sense of humor.

You're going to need to find the funny in difficult situations or you'll have a mental breakdown. Relax and laugh at the pee showers, what is another load of laundry at this point?

2. Lowered expectations of your parenting skills.

Guess're not going to be the picture perfect parent you envision before the little poop factory comes along. You're kid will probably watch TV and have some non organic sugar treats or fast food by the time they are 2 years old. Breathe. This does not make you a failure, it makes you human.

3. Someone you trust to babysit nearby.

You love your baby to the ends of the earth and back, but you would also like 10 damn minutes to poop and shower and maybe cry (hormones are no joke & linger after baby is born, sorry ladies). Somedays you just need help....whether its a date night, nap, or going to the store by yourself. People offer to watch your little one, take them up on it. They would not offer if they did not mean it and there is no mother of the year prize for never getting away from your kid....except for maybe a trip to the mental ward. Do not feel bad for taking me time, you need it to recharge so you can be a better mom and wife.

The first few weeks of motherhood are amazing and awful. It's an overwhelming love that cannot be described with a healthy dose of 'oh crap I don't know what I'm doing, I'm so tired and want to cry' thrown in.

You will be fine and I promise you will eventually forget the sore boobs and exhausted feeling and actually miss those first few weeks. You'll be great and don't let anyone tell you differently.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

That time I did hot yoga

I tried hot yoga. I was offered a chance to try a class for free and said heck yes without knowing what it

To prepare for this class I plucked my unibrow, posted a general Facebook question on what to wear, and googled the crap out of hot yoga. Come to find out hot yoga is just in a super hot room. I was nervous to say the least.

I sweat more in that hour than I have in my previous 27 years combined. I sweat in places I didn't know could sweat. It was like I jumped into a pool of sweat. I really didn't think I was capable of that much sweat. I mean I work in a greenhouse. I've worked a 12 hour day in 90 degree heat in the greenhouses...I thought I was prepared....I was wrong.

Sweating aside, I think I liked the class. I was relaxed the entire hour and left feeling less stressed than I have in a long time. I think I would have felt the same in a room that wasn't on fire, but I'll just pretend I'm on the beach.

Final hot yoga verdict....give it a try, it may surprise you. Also, bring a towel to sit on in the car, you will leave a butt sweat mark on the seat of your car.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Pee Phone

Oh little boys....I thought we were past the getting peed on stage, but I was mistaken. I was changing a particularly unpleasant diaper and I gave Zach my phone since he was melting down. This is nothing new. Little man hates diaper changes and loves to google tractor images on my phone so it works out nicely.

I will never make this mistake again since wouldn't you know it, Zach had a giant firehouse pee right before I put on his new diaper. He peed on me, his own face, the wall behind name it. Luckily I have the best husband ever who took Zach directly to the bath and told me to clean up myself and my phone.

How embarrassing would it be to go to get a new phone because mine was peed on? I'm sure they've seen worse.